Behind the Pulpit: Pastors’ Hidden Struggles

By Dan Hyun

Most pastors experience genuine joy in serving the Lord and His church. Even so, many pastors also carry some struggles hidden below the surface that they don’t feel can be shared with others.

Here are four things pastors would like their churches to know:

1. Relationships can be complex

Community is important in any healthy church. However, being in relationships with people in the church can be uniquely complicated for a pastor.

Pastors want to love people, which requires getting close, yet the nature of their shepherding role can often create a certain relational distance. A pastor and congregant should obviously be friendly with each other, but being actual friends is often a lot harder.

Some of that’s because of what’s required in a friendship. Sharing struggles, doubts, or conflicts is normal for a healthy relationship, but pastors may hesitate to reveal themselves like that. Emotional distance often feels safer, even if it can lead to isolation. And even if a pastor seeks friendship, growing too close to certain people may bring accusations of favoritism. It can be a hard balance to achieve.

A church is where many experience community away from their stressful work lives. For the pastor, though, the church is expected to be their community, but it’s also their workplace. Pastors navigate a balance between wanting their spouses and children to experience friendships with others in the church while recognizing that those relationships can be impacted if something goes bad in the church. It can be a lot for a pastor and his family to invest heavily in relationships and then have to process the hurt of seeing those people disappear, especially if they’re unhappy with the pastor.

In short, pastors live under relational pressure that few fully understand. In a role dependent on connecting with so many, pastors can ironically find themselves feeling alone. Navigating these relational tensions requires intentionality, boundaries, and safe spaces where pastors can learn to grow in relationships.

2. Preaching is a privilege but can also feel like a burden

Preaching is often seen as the highlight of a church’s week. Many pastors recognize how a Spirit-led sermon can be a powerful source of inspiration, leadership, and growth. It’s a great and humbling privilege to preach for the strengthening of the body.

But behind the pulpit, preaching can also bring a heavy weight. The responsibility of preaching for the church week after week carries immense pressure. Pastors are expected to be scripturally faithful, practical, pastoral, bold, and winsome—all at the same time.

A sermon is more than just researching and conveying information. It’s a deeply personal process requiring spiritual attentiveness, emotional energy, and hours of preparation, all while the other responsibilities of pastoring continue.

Part of that preaching process is moving it from the personal to the communal. The vulnerability of exposing oneself for public evaluation in preaching can be exhausting. This exhaustion can feel compounded by how much we emphasize the importance of the church service.

Though pastors can chuckle at the notion that we’re like NFL players who only have to work on Sundays, the reality is Sunday services, and the sermon in particular, can feel more important than anything else a church does. And as one pastor stated, in a consumeristic culture, the Sunday morning sermon can feel like a weekly experience of being judged like it’s American Idol for preachers.

Know that preaching is a calling your pastor takes seriously. Also know that it’s a weekly reminder of their deep dependence on God for wisdom, strength, and grace.

3. We’re only human

Pastors are often seen as spiritual giants—strong, wise, and steady. But pastors are also human with the same emotions, struggles, and doubts as anyone else. While pastors are called to lead, they’re not immune to weariness, discouragement, or loneliness. Yet while we encourage people in the church to be vulnerable and transparent, pastors often feel afraid to show it.

Pastors often feel pressure to model the perfect marriage, family, and spiritual life. Yet they carry their own hurts, face their own temptations, and try to keep their head above water through seasons of exhaustion. The danger comes when pastors try to be superhuman—always available, always composed, always strong. This unrealistic pressure can lead to burnout, isolation, and deep discouragement. Behind the scenes, many pastors are grieving personal losses, battling insecurity, or simply exhausted. Many pastors suffer in silence, afraid to be fully known in the very communities they serve.

Whether true or not, pastors can feel like the people of the congregation are allowed to make mistakes and receive grace and forgiveness in response but that the pastor doesn’t have the luxury of this same grace. Truthfully, sometimes this might be the voice of the pastor’s own inner critic. But there are enough stories of how a pastor’s shortcomings were weaponized against him. It can feel too risky to chance being human.

Remembering that pastors are only human is not a sign of weakness but an invitation to the good news of God’s grace. They need prayer and support just like everyone else. Seeing their humanity not only helps them flourish, but it creates healthier, more honest churches where no one has to pretend to be more than they are—including the pastor.

4. Your encouragement means more than you know

Pastors gladly pour themselves into the lives of others. They followed this call because they honor God in humbly serving His church. Even so, pastors are not immune to discouragement. The spiritual, relational, and emotional weight of ministry can be heavy, and it’s often carried alone in silence.

That weight can be compounded by the criticism some pastors receive. We all need to receive helpful constructive feedback to grow, but the noise of criticism from a complaining spirit can be deafening.

So, even a small expression of encouragement can make a lasting impact for your pastor.

Dan Hyun serves as BCM/D director of formation and health. This article originally appeared in Lifeway Research.

Photo by Microsoft Co-Pilot